029: Uncomfortable

This is not going to be a typical Ascender, it is not about the music industry - although these thoughts have implications to that world and my interactions with it. 

This is not a political post - although there are political changes that need to happen, I think the important discussions are lost when they are politicized. 

This is a reflection - some of my thoughts and how I can change.

I have been struggling with what to say during these times. I avoided sending something out 2 weeks ago, it seemed completely tone deaf to put out a typical article when protests were happening across the globe. I also knew that it wasn’t the time or place to interject my opinion. The system is already inherently biased towards the opinions of people like me - a straight, white, male. I’ve heard the argument that it’s not an option not to speak out - but I do not have the lived experience to contribute to this conversation. In my opinion trying to force my voice into the conversation is compounding the problem. The system is already speaking ‘my voice’, it is built from the point of view of people like me. It doesn’t need more of that to change. We need other voices.

That doesn’t mean I can just sit back and do nothing, that is not an option. I do need to listen, learn, reflect and find ways I myself can change. People like me really need to do this right now. These are some of the things I’ve been reflecting on.

What if I Say the Wrong Thing? 

This is my insecurity, and one I think a lot of people like me have. But it is for me to deal with. It is for me to be uncomfortable with. It is for me to learn what the right things to say are, and to probably say the wrong thing a few times. If I say the wrong thing I may be called out, ostracized or labeled. But I don’t think I’d ever fear for my life. There are people who say and do all the right things - yet they are still killed in the streets or in their homes. They don’t have the privilege of avoiding this. I do. It is not the responsibility of people who face oppression to make me, or people like me, feel comfortable.  My struggle with that is infinitely small in comparison. Myself and people like me have been comfortable far too long - it’s time for me to be uncomfortable. To sit with that discomfort and not try to fix it with a token gesture.

What Can I Learn?

I listen to a lot of podcasts. I looked through the list of shows I regularly listen to. The voices were all people like me. Despite feeling like I take in diverse perspectives - my listening history would say otherwise. Being ignorant to this is not an option. I’m actively seeking out some new content, I would love any suggestions.

My local library just opened up this week for the first time since COVID started. I’ve already got a few books on my list to read, but like above I would love any suggestions.

Going Forward

Often these posts have a point. I attempt to bring them to a nice conclusion with some key insight, leaving us with a sense of finality, that we’ve dealt with something. Not this time, this is an ongoing discussion, and ongoing opportunity for me to learn.

~ Steve